The Ramblings Of John Campea

Life Beyond The Movies

Looking inward
Iíve been going through a bunch of stuff lately, mostly internal stuff. Iím finding that Iím really not satisfied with the level of Spirituality in my life. Iím not talking about ďQuiet timeĒ or things like thatÖ Iím doing all the right stuff on the outside, but the degree to which my spirit touches Godís is disappointing to me. Donít get me wrong, its not non-existent, I just feel I need moreÖ more connection, more intimacy, I canít even properly describe it or put it into words.

The issue of war and the question of ďis it right for Christ followers to ever kill peopleĒ has really been weighing me down. The fact that so many prominent Christian leaders (most of which live in the west) seem to advocate the position that Christians can kill has me almost depressed (especially when you consider how clear the New Testament is on this issue). No, Iím serious. There have been at least 3 nights where I havenít been able to sleep because of this. Iím becoming so disillusioned with the Western Church. Not just because of war or killing, but also because of our unbelievable materialism, our ignoring of the Aids crisis (while we build multi-million dollar church buildings), the way we treat our faith like itís a past time while other Christ followers in the world are dying for it. What are we doing? Whatís the point? Is this what Jesus died for? Iím not quite sure what to do with all this stuff.

Iím very fortunate to belong to a local church filled with loving people. They all seem to be people who donít pretend to have it all figured out. Theyíre truth seekers. They ask questions. Itís really the church I need to be in right now I think. Ok, if I figure any of this stuff out Iíll let you know. Thanks for letting me rant.

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March 26, 2003 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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