The Ramblings Of John Campea

Life Beyond The Movies

Michael Moore on why God

Michael Moore on why God made women better than men
Perhaps there’s no logical explanation for this disparity. Maybe, as the nuns taught us, it’s just all part of God’s plan. But if that’s the case, why did God make women so much better? The nuns must have had the inside dope on this, after all, they were all women themselves. They knew God’s secret, and they certainly weren’t going to share it with the likes of me.

It is my belief, and this is purely form my personal observation of the women I live with (wife and daughter), that when God was creating the world, he spent the better part of Day Six creating what women would look like. I mean, you can’t help but notice the skillful craft of an artisan at the top of His field. The shapes, the curves, the symmetry, all constitute extraordinary art. Their skin is soft and smooth and perfect, their hair is rich and think and vibrant. I am not speaking form a prurient perspective here, these are simply the conclusions of the art critic in me. Woman, I think we all agree, are stunningly beautiful.

So what happened to God when it came to us? It’s like He used up all His best tricks inventing women. By the time he got to us, he was obviously ready to get it over with and move on to something more important, like that seventh day of rest.

So men ended up like Chevys, rushed off the assembly line and guaranteed to break down after limited use. That’s why we try to stay in our recliners as long as we can, the exertion required to pick up after ourselves can lead to an early coronary. Our bodies were built to lift, carry, haul and throw, but for a limited time only. And I have to say it, what’s with this extra thing we were given? Well, let me put this as delicately as possible: In God’s rush to finish up, it looks like he just grabbed a stray part he had lying around in the shop and stuck it on us, cause it sure as hell doesn’t look right! If you look at an item like this and glued it on to a lamppost or a tree, you’d say “Nawww, I don’t think it looks right”. But NOBODY questions its presence on a guy.

Michael Moore – “Stupid White Men and other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation”

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May 28, 2003 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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