The Ramblings Of John Campea

Life Beyond The Movies

Does Attraction Equal Shallow?

I had a strange conversation with someone today that’s left me scratching my head a little. Without all the boring details, here’s how it went…

I mentioned that physical attraction is a significant thing when one is considering pursuing another person. I didn’t say that was a good or a bad thing… just that if there is going to be a connection between two people at least SOME sort of physical attraction at some level has to exist.

The person I was talking to insisted that made me a shallow person and proceeded to get quite upset with me.

Once again, I didn’t say that’s how it SHOULD be… I merely pointed out that it was a fact. But to this person… just stating that made me a shallow person.

So what gives? Is some sort of physical attraction important or not?


October 17, 2005 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Of course it is important. I will never think of any guy, or girl as shallow if they thought the same thing. What this person could have said to you is that men and women are both visual creatures, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    What makes either of us different, is if we dont allow it to be the be all and end all of a possible relationship with that person, but it is necessary in the beginning, and eventually once you get to know the person, that physical attraction will be replaced with loving the person’s personality.

    Comment by Simone | October 17, 2005 | Reply

  2. “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” Its the ugly persons mantra and its one theyve misinterpreted forever. Passing judgement visually is the first step in evaluating anything and to deny that is to deny human nature. You walk into a cellphone store and the flashiest, thinnest, stupidest phone is the one you look at first. It doesnt mean its the one you go home with, but its the one you kinda wish you can get. So what exactly is the difference when you walk into a dance club?

    The truth of the matter is that physical appearance is a factor for everyone. I’m not saying its the basis for all relationships, but until you figure out if the person has any other traits worth admiring then its the only thing that you can go by.

    BTW. People who deny this are always the people who get cheated on. Looks are unimportant while love is eternal. (Yeah, maybe when you weighed 50 pounds less, didnt cut your hair so short and wore sexy clothes it would be eternal.)

    Comment by Cole | October 17, 2005 | Reply

  3. I absolutely agree about the attraction factor! We all have different things we are attracted to and if you don’t feel it, what is the point of pursuing someone? Everyone is attracted to different things whether it be height,eye colour,hair colour,etc.
    Sometimes it is just an “it factor” that you can’t pinpoint. That doesn’t make you shallow, just honest.

    Comment by Janet | October 17, 2005 | Reply

  4. If you don’t like your dinner – you will not eat it.
    Dinner should not go to waste. Get something you like the first time.

    Comment by doug nagy | October 17, 2005 | Reply

  5. What is the first thing that catches your attention when the opposite happens to walk by…how she looks!!! Physical attraction does not make you a shallow person…it is just human nature. You are naturally attracted to what you think is “pretty”. I would really like to see someone go into a bar and jump on the 350 whale woman over the Adrianna Lima look alike simply because whale woman said hi first…please… I would say that persuing the relationship when there is nothing there other than physical attraction is what makes you shallow.

    Comment by MechoPower | October 19, 2005 | Reply

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