The Ramblings Of John Campea

Life Beyond The Movies

Why am I doing this?!?!

As you all know, the last 8 months my life has pretty much been about nothing but my movie, Prince of Peace – God of War.

– I’ve traveled 7 weeks in total
– Spent over $15,000 of money I don’t have
– Invested over 600 hours
– Engaged in a lot of debates
– burned a couple of bridges
– made a couple of new friends
– had a LOT of late night discussions with myself
– Been forced to reflect a lot on my own beliefs and spirituality
– Just worked really damn hard
– received a LOT of hateful and hurtful email from strangers

The thing I’ve been thinking a lot about lately though, is… WHY? Why have I been doing all this?

The reality is I don’t have a distributor. No one asked me to make this documentary. I have no idea if anyone on the planet besides my mother is going to watch it. It could end up being terrible and I’ll end up looking foolish.

So why? Why am I doing this? Is it to make money? Is it to try to change the world? Is it to try to change the Church? Is it just for the experience? Is it an attempt to get some fame? Is it just to put something new on my resume? Is it an attempt to give myself a sense of importance? Is it just to cause some trouble? Is it just to give myself something to do?

The reality is… I have no idea why I’m doing this. Honestly… I can’t answer the question of WHY? And that’s a bit frustrating to me. What is my motivation? Is it one of the above things? A combination of things? Something else entirely?

But what I do know is that for one reason or another… I am extremely driven. I’m consumed with this film. Almost obsessed with it… and I’m not sure why. It could financially ruin me, burn a lot of bridges and end up making me look like a fool… but I’m dedicated to it.

It’ll be done soon… the last interview was filmed last week. Hopefully before the new year the film will be done. At that point I have no idea what I’m going to do with it… but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

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October 25, 2006 - Posted by | Uncategorized

8 Comments »

  1. It’s like one of my highschool teachers use to say: “Why do I bang my head against the wall? Because it feels so good when I stop!” Ok, that probably doesn’t help at all, but I think it’s great that you are pursuing a dream. I dream all the time and haven’t had the guts to go through with anything. I for one am looking forward to seeing this documentary and I think you will be proud of yourself once it is finished.

    Comment by Sheldon | October 25, 2006 | Reply

  2. I respect the fact that you’re going out on a limb and doing something you really believe in. Personally, I’m very interested in seeing the finished product.

    Slightly unrelated, I love the graphic that you’re using. Is this the final version of the fonts for the title? They look great.

    Comment by Marina | October 25, 2006 | Reply

  3. i wrote you a song john,

    *ahem*

    do whatever you wannttt!
    because soon you’ll be deaadddd!

    …those lines repeat over and over.

    Comment by miles | October 26, 2006 | Reply

  4. Hey John. Know that I want to see the film. With or without your mom, depending on our respective schedules. Hahahaha. Why are you doing it? I imagine there are several reasons that factor in, including the excellent subject matter itself and a desire for truth and balance (something I appreciate greatly). I wonder if this is also part of your spiritual journey, where you wrestle with ideas and issues that have been challenging (maybe even God Himself). Here’s hoping the best!

    Comment by Hardcore Joel | October 28, 2006 | Reply

  5. I reckon the reason you’re doing it, is the same reason most good film makers want to make a movie. Especially unpayed indie film makers; you want to tell a good story. That’s essentially it, I read somewhere that certain human beings have an obsessive drive to tell stories, its an actual human trait, and if you’ve got this drive. You can’t fail. Nice one.

    Comment by Gruff | November 9, 2006 | Reply

  6. WHY?

    Because you’re part of a bigger picture and purpose and you have allowed yourself to participate/co-labour in works prepared before the foundation of the world.

    Truth is breaking through and you are a part of it. Will it be rejected? Yes, by most. But for some it will play a part in their journey to be separate from this world and testify to truth, Truth, and do so with courage. Devine courage. Courage they have not only heard about but seen demonstrated through the example of others. Such as yourself.

    I will be one of those who will watch you film and help to promote it.

    Get it out into the hands of a few like minded people and it will make its way wherever it needs to be seen.

    Grace and peace,

    Dan

    Comment by Dan Woods | November 13, 2006 | Reply

  7. I just read about your film for the first time, and it feels lika something I really like to see! Hope I get the chance!

    Steffe

    Comment by Steffe | January 3, 2007 | Reply

  8. John,

    As a long time reader of your work, I know you can pull this off. I hope you can debut at Sundance, or even Cannes. I will buy your DVD when it releases.

    Your Unknown Friend,
    Shane

    Comment by shane razey | February 1, 2007 | Reply


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