The Ramblings Of John Campea

Life Beyond The Movies

My favorite Blonde Joke

I can across this one today… laughed my fool head off:

“A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, ‘No, honey, don’t do it!!!’ The blonde replies, ‘Shut up, you’re next!’”

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June 2, 2008 Posted by | Fun | Leave a comment

Sometimes you just need to turn around

I really don’t know the background story to this picture… all I know is that you’ll never catch me in a body of water where the word “shark” was ever spoken within 100 miles.

March 2, 2008 Posted by | Fun | Leave a comment

Great Answer To Gold Digger Question

I see this sort of question posted online from time to time. Apparently, this one was posted on the very popular online classifieds “CraigsList.Com”. The answer just made me howl in its pure honesty and logic. Its a fantastic response to a stupid question from a gold digger:

_____________________________

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

_____________________________________

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

November 8, 2007 Posted by | Fun | Leave a comment

Why Dads Are Great

Does laughing at this make me a sick person?

November 6, 2007 Posted by | Fun | Leave a comment

Ninja Parade

I don’t know… I’m just in the mood to post funny stuff I guess. Man I love The Onion

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

November 6, 2007 Posted by | Fun | Leave a comment

Final Fantasy Parody

Like most people, I got hooked on Final Fantasy 7 years and years ago. It was the first video game that I really got “hooked” on since Tie Fighter before it. Anyway, while aimlessly gliding around the web today, I came across this little Final Fantasy parody video that just cracked me up. But be warned… if you never played the game, none of this will make any sense to you whatsoever. But if you did play the game, you’ll really appreciate it. Check it out.

November 5, 2007 Posted by | Fun, Games | Leave a comment

Chuck Norris and Mr. T

One of the commenters on The Movie Blog left this Chuck Norris joke… and I wanted to share it here:

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walk into a bar, it instantly explodes as no building can contain that level of awesomeness.”

AWESOME.

October 31, 2007 Posted by | Fun | Leave a comment